its been 3 months to the day that dad passed away ... 3 long, long months filled with tears, laugter, fights, angry words, basketball, tributes, cards, flowers, lawyers, coroner letters, legal issues, bills, paperwork, changing details, hugs, dirty looks, slapping his picture down, pulling his picture back up, sharing our story and most importantly trying to just keep living with our matriarch and the priesthood holder no longer here.
there are moments when i wish i could just speak to him, like last saturday when i was coaching the heat and i just couldnt remember the rule about 'fill in' players. there are moments when i wish i could just slap him across the back of the head for not filling out paperwork when he should have. there are moments when i just wish it never happened ... but then i think about the reason why he was taken. heavenly father has a plan for each of us and the plan was for dad to go and to continue the work up there. there is a lesson that i learnt in young womens ... nothing happens to us that we can not handle. heavenly father will never test us with something we are not strong enough to deal with and i have faith in that.
monday was a tough day, i had a horrible morning to the point that i just played the song dad always loved to sing with darrio 'big girls dont cry' by fergie all morning and when my boss walked in i burst into tears. HOWEVER that evening i got the BEST news ever ... i was officially an aunt to the most cutest child EVER ...
miss madeline beth. i havent yet been able to see or hold madeline ... or even been able to tell her the nickname i have for her that no-one else can use ... but she means the world to me because she got me out of my dark mood. she had spent time with my dad up there and im pretty sure he pushed her along so that she was born on the 11th ... im sure of it.
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